Just to Make Matters Clear

The elite French naval force, Les Phoques, startled the world with its swift and violence-free occupation of Louisiana yesterday morning. American press outlets report that the Phoques seized all critical restaurants, beignet outlets and crawfish swamps and have taken the culinary stronghold Café du Monde in New Orleans where troops dressed in French military uniforms were seen sipping coffee with ethnic French citizens who welcomed the Phoques arrival to Louisiana yesterday morning.

In addition, France has taken control of all oil and gas refineries located in this energy rich region claimed by America since the 1804 Louisiana Purchase by anglo-heritage President Thomas Jefferson.

Citing the security of French ethnics and a historical claim to the territory, French Prime Minister, Francois Holland taking a break from his latest dalliance with one of his mistresses, spoke to the European Community in Brussels yesterday and cited long standing French claims to Louisiana. Responding to muted American outrage at the occupation, Hollande reminded the world that Louisiana takes its name from King Louis of France, and the cultural heritage of the region lies with France.

American President Barack Obama after meeting with his national security council, issued the following statement.
“We will not stand by and have American donuts taken by a foreign power. This is an outrageous breach of international law and places Prime Minister Hollande on the wrong side of history.” The American President urged President Hollande to withdraw his forces and respect American sovereignty. He said it was possibke for both American and French donuts to be respected in the region.

In a wave of local protest to the occupation, David Duke, former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, has called on white sheeted forces to assemble on the eastern border of Louisiana with para-military units said to be preparing to take back the seized territory. Duke has said he will offer support for a restored Louisiana in exchange for ethnic cleansing of African American’s from the region. Spokespersons for the NAACP have expressed grave concerns for the safety of ethnic African Americans who represent a significant percentage of citizens in Louisiana. Long exploited and ignored by Louisiana leaders, African Americans in the region have had a traditional affection for the French, especially in the aftermath of the devastating Hurricane Katrina nearly ten years ago.

Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal, has left Louisiana and is said to be setting up a government in exile in India’s Mumbai. Jindal said that whatever actions President Obama might take to end this illegal occupation would be met with a swift and thorough consideration before being categorically rejected.

Complicating matters in this region are long simmering separatist movements in neighboring Texas, where secessionist forces have strong support amongst Tea Party activists and gun owners who are quite numerous in America’s second largest state. While their agenda is unclear, it is feared that ethnic cleansing of blacks, and, of course, Jews, who militant Tea Partiers claim control the crawfish trade, and liberals jin Louisiana, would be part of any deal brokered by secessionist forces. The balance of power may rest with these groups in what is thought to become a prolonged struggle.

Secretary of State, John Kerry, has flown to the region and is said to be eating a large bowl of etouffe in a symbolic gesture of unity and support with the French American populace in Louisiana.

Calls for sanctions against France are under consideration by all leaders of G7 countries, while the Chinese leadership offered this assessment of the situation late last night. “While western countries squabble amongst themselves, we are very happy to enter into beneficial trade agreements with anyone.”

Russian leader, Vladimir Putin, himself bogged down in resistance to his actions in the Crimea, said earlier today that he was proud of the performance of Russian athletes at the Sochi Olympics last month and would focus on Louisiana as soon as possible.

3 thoughts on “Just to Make Matters Clear

  1. I’ve found wsws.org to provide a great counterpoint/perspective to the slop being served popular US propaganda outlets, with regard to the Ukraine situation. Funny how, just as the country tires of the War on Terror bogeyman, the good old fashioned Russian bogeyman is ready for service.

  2. I approved the suggestion by someone who read this blog post suggesting wsws.org as a good counter to mainstream media on the Ukraine situation. I approved the comment because I believe in diverse opinion. When I went to the link, I discovered that wsws.org is a Marxist web site. I have no issue with that, as I said, I believe in diverse opinions even if I do not accept another viewpoint as my own, but I found it curious that the person who posted the suggestion chooses to be anonymous. Henceforth, I will not approve comments submitted anonymously.

  3. Dear Anon,

    Long ago when I was writing newspaper columns, I found that responding to readers was not the best thing to do. It usually led to an interminable exchange that led nowhere. It is with that in mind that I read your comment today, but felt like a response was deserved.

    Your point about anonymity preserving you from the prying or oppressive eye of the US government has some merit, but a few things you may want to keep in mind. First, the US Government, if they want to know who you are, will have no problem at all in discovering your identity. Second, years ago, when I was active in anti Vietnam War activities, people in the US Government often posed as radicals to manipulate the actions of people associated with the movement. Radical ideas by “agent provocateurs” frequently led unwitting idealists into dangerous situations. It was with that in mind that I wrote that I would not allow anonymous comments on the blog. Your ideas are welcome, but only if they come with the willingness to put your name on them.

    I gave this a lot of thought today and what kept coming to mind was that I do not hold ideologies in very high esteem though I do have a high regard for ideas that offer creative, intelligent,or more fair minded consideration of events and policies. If there is an idea from a socialist thinker that forwards the conversation, I welcome it, but if it is a veiled attempt to forward an ideology, I will likely not give it much consideration.

    And finally, your small dig that I would “censor” your letter and so deny the free and open exchange of ideas on the internet seemed unfair. This is, after all, my blog, and I will do as I see best to share ideas in whatever way feels proper. So, I repeat, I welcome your comments as you are a thoughtful person, but they will only be published on my blog if they have a real name attached to them.

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