Wiggy Meet Nancy ?

One of the fine perks of getting a cancer diagnosis is the free wig store. There’s a lot of kindness even if the wigs aren’t exactly what you have in mind.
Who needs a wig with a head so fine?
Here she is with the wig you can’t get at the wig store!

A great week. It’s funny how you go through so many steps and realizations along this path. It hits like a ton of bricks but soon you realize it’s no different than anything else in life so you tighten your boot laces and start hiking. With each step you get stronger.

Each day we walk in the woods, breathe the air, see the mountains and take notice of the subtle change of the seasons. On some days a raven soars above, Flickers call out and dive down into the protection of the trees, or a hawk takes notice of two humans churning up the road from high above.

Head down or head up makes all the difference.


The Peace of Wild Things, by Wendell Berry

(This makes me think of Nance)

Nancy’s Totem Bird

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Three Quotes, One Hero, Two Fools, and A Test for Exceptionalism.

This piece first appeared in The Chronicle, 12/27/21

“Waist Deep in the big muddy, and the big fool says to push on.”  Pete Seeger

The Fool referred to in the above lyric was President Lyndon Baines Johnson, who, despite sober assessments (The Pentagon Papers) that the war in Vietnam was unwinnable, continued escalating a conflict that eventually cost 66,000 Americans (and close to a million Vietnamese) their deaths between 1964-1968.  Johnson’s leadership failure cost him his Presidency, which seems like a small price to pay weighed against the cost to those who lost a child, a spouse, a father or a mother in a senseless war.

Two of my favorite quotes about human beings come from the late great basketball coach John Wooden, whose UCLA teams dominated college basketball during the Sixties.  Wooden was always more than a coach, being equal parts coach, preacher and philosopher.

Wooden quote 1: “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

Wooden’s words augmented Seeger’s.  Two weeks before Christmas, we are “Waist deep again in the big {viral} muddy,” but this time the muddy isn’t the rice paddies or jungles in Southeast Asia, but a preventable disease ravaging every community in the world.  Like Johnson, against all rationale and scientific advice, our President has ignored any attempt to control the spread of the disease.  He doesn’t even mention that 3000 Americans are now dying each day from a pandemic he made worse by denying it was a problem and refusing to take measures to control its spread.  While the President tunes up his golf swing as the death toll in America alone is approaching an astounding 300,000 lives! 

This brings to mind a second Wooden quote, “Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who’ll argue with you.”

Whether you like the President or not is irrelevant, but my God, you have to listen to others who know more than you do. That the President politicized a disease appalls me, and that so many of his supporters did not grasp that they could like the President but not agree with him about the virus concerns me. 

The same goes for the Governor of California and the Mayor of San Francisco.  Those two hypocrites ignored their advisories and availed themselves of family gatherings and fine French meals.  Decades ago, I swore off membership in any political party when I realized neither had the monopoly on truth.  Has our leadership served us well?  Let the chips fall where they may. I think not.

It didn’t have to be this way.  In the early 1980s, as the first signs of the HIV epidemic began to surface during Ronald Reagan’s Presidency, C. Everett Koop,

a deeply conservative and Republican man, thought by his critics too conservative to protect the nation’s health, was the United States Surgeon General.  In stark contrast to his moral pre-disposition, Koop did battle with the socially conservative politics of the Reagan Administration by taking action to slow the spread of AIDS in the United States.  At the time, those who wrongly branded the affliction a “Gay Man’s Disease”

dangerously said that AIDS was God’s punishment for living sinful lives.  Koop, though likely not one to be comfortable with Gay Men’s lifestyles and under tremendous pressure not to take effective action, let medical science and intellectually honest guide his response to the disease that today is known as HIV.  Koop did not succumb to callous prejudice or political favor, and he saved tens, if not hundreds of thousands of lives by doing his job to protect the American People.   Take that, Mr. President, Governor Newsom, and Mayor Breed! 

 As for those who believe the Pandemic is a conspiratorial hoax, all I can say is, “Please take your place at the back of the vaccine line.”

As for our own, Governor Brown, I’ve heard more than a few shots directed at her, but I applaud the Governor’s steadfastness. It is not politically easy to shut down a state, and there is terrible hardship when you close schools, businesses and churches.  We want to blame the messenger, Governor Brown, but perhaps the better response should be “Thanks,” because we’ve been fortunate so far that Oregon’s Covid-19 infection rates have been lower than most other states.  More Oregonians will survive to tell the tale.  Amen.

Risk is part of life, and it isn’t for me to tell you how to live, but I believe it makes sense to keep your guard up.  And seriously, people, all we’re talking about is a mask, some hand sanitizer, and keeping away from larger groups.  It isn’t that much to ask.  I encourage all to stay vigilant and protect themselves and others.  Even with an effective vaccine, it will take a while to stop the virus, so unless you meet the standards identified below for “Exceptionalism,” I encourage all to keep the mask on, mingle less, and maintain all possible safeguards.   You may be young and healthy, but your grandmother isn’t. 

You Are Exceptional if you can:

Jump up in the air and not come down.

Walk on water.

Deposit your body waste with no smell.

CA 125

Concerning this brief update, CA 125 is not a state highway in California.

Super Nanky started the day jacked on steroids in preparation for seven hours at the JUICE BAR (The funny thing is that she doesn’t realize she is flying even as the wind swirls around her.) If she gets any more jacked up she might surpass Barry Bond’s MLB home run record!

Off we went and Nance dug in for seven hours! While there, she made new friends and they gave her a graph of her CA 125 levels, which I won’t bother explaining in detail but is a measure of whether “Chucky” is advancing or retreating. Chucky and friends are definitely showing their displeasure with THE JUICE, as not only did she “flatten the curve” but has a steeply pitched line indicating the bad juju us in retreat. This is good news.

We remain overwhelmed by the kindness and support of all of you whose gifts, thoughts, food, calls, emails and prayers keep Nancy on the path.

Thank you.

PS: I’ll be throwing a piece on the blog tomorrow that doesn’t have to do with Nancy. Feel free to skip it if you wish.

Nothing Compares To You

Nance had a great week. Lots of meditation walks in the woods and feeling like herself. Next week is the second round of Juice Bar (AKA, chemotherapy) so there are lots of appointments and dodging around all the Covid precautions. Thank you to all the kind friends who have shared thoughts, visits, walks, food and various other healing gifts and wishes. With no prompting, Nancy received seven various butterfly images and has adopted that as the transformation metaphor-Chucky is going to have to find another cocoon. (And, if you don’t know the CD in the picture by Sinead O’Connor, give it a listen.)

The World of Nancy

Hi. If you’re signing up to get updates about Nancy you are at the right place. We will post things when something significant happens like Nancy hopped on a plane for Zanzibar or is selling prunes at the infusion center. Feel free to add your encouraging words.